229 Days to Go: The Magnetism of Mariah

Whenever I peruse through the vinyl section of a record store (and by "record store" I mean any store that will stock records, be it Barnes and Noble, Wal-Mart, or The Salvation Army) I always skip on over to the "Holiday" section and gorge. My kindred spirit, Mitchell Kezin, demonstrates this practice in the opening scene of his masterpiece of a movie, Jingle Bell Rocks!  (God bless that exclamation mark at the end of the title.) 

In larger chain stores I mostly encounter deluxe Christmas vinyl reissues. 90% of them are reissued on red or green (sometimes white) vinyl. (Get it? Those are the colors of the holiday!) But the red ones always catch my eye, especially a slender vixen by the name of Mariah Carey. Clad in a saran-wrap tight elf outfit (minus the hat) Mariah is a shock of red amidst a backdrop of snow. The album's title is understandably no-frills: Merry Christmas. There's no time for text anyway; not when Mimi is staring you down with that unwrappable come-hither look. The holidays may be pious but they can be sexy, too. 

Confession time: I've never listened to this album from start to finish. But two days ago I almost bought it for that simple fact. I've never listened to the whole thing and, as an avowed lover of Christmas music, I feel as if this is a cardinal sin. (Also, cardinals are red just like the color of...nevermind, you get it.) I held back by the smallest of strings but I made it my mission to listen to this album from beginning to end very, very soon. Mariah's magnetism calls to me. I'm coming Mimi, I'm coming home for Christmas...

Mariah or Ms Carey if you're nasty. Which we are not. So put that thought out of your mind. 

Mariah or Ms Carey if you're nasty. Which we are not. So put that thought out of your mind.